The Gauntlet

And how "the goal" is just the beginning

You won’t ever truly know who you are (or can become).

until you put yourself in situations in which you will be triggered to the limits.

In a way you can’t predict, and you had no idea it was going to happen.

It is the only real way to grow.

Walk into a room where everyone is smarter than you and you do not even understand the system—then learn and play the game and see if you can survive or even thrive.

Step into the ring with men younger, stronger, and more skilled than you and get your ass kicked and basically just try to survive and deal with your ego demanding respect and whatnot.

and getting no one and still doing what is needed.

Step into a temple of love where you know nobody and all your wounds and traumas come up and your masks fall and you end up comparing yourself to everyone and lusting after just about every female body,

triggering every fantasy, every fear, and turning you into a little helpless kid that wants candy and can’t get it, and you become the most pathetic, needy version of yourself.

And sit with it

wash the dishes,,

do what is needed.

and still learn.

Step into circles where you are kindly told to get your act together and that life is the real healing and the real path and that it is about time you mature and take on responsibilities as any man should.

Fly to another country to run an 8-mile run in the rain, not ready, with barely enough money to pay for the flight; get lost; run in the wrong direction; and then sit, receiving teaching of such quality and profundity that you know and realize you are an absolute beginner and know nothing.

And then find your versions of that.

Come back home and do what is needed, realizing it does not make you special, good, or bad and that nobody really cares about your issues.

as they have their own lives to deal with,

Realize you’re NOT that important.

And that nobody will be clapping till you succeed, and then there will be jealousy, manipulation, deceit, and whatnot.

Even when you “succeed,” the trials are only beginning.

Why write on this?

To show a list of successes?

In a part yes, acknowledging them is helpful, but expecting others to recognize that is part of the problem.

So what is an appropriate reaction to the world we live in now?

I am not a saint or guru or even a specially seasoned teacher to be able to know this.

But I have heard recently from many wise men whom I respect:

that letting go of the need to control, predict, and even guess anything

and truly living in the moment.

10 sec at a time, if you will.

And becoming a man, gentle as a flower and sharp as a sword

and strong as a rock

It is not a bad place.

to start.

So this is basically accountability.

So next time I fall short,

I will remind myself.

Why am I doing this or anything at

all.

Live long and prosper,

and do what is needed,

and continue to pursue 6 impossible things before breakfast.

For this is not the goal or the end.

It is the new

baseline.